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[28 Aug 2005|02:25pm] |
I'm grounded today! cuz i came home late last ntie..but i want to go out she needs me..i NEED to b there..i'm needed and i na't wut the fuck today is a sucky ass day...i have to clean all day...stupid house and dust....i miss my dad, last nite ppls were tlak about their dads and how they were industuctable...and i was like wow mine wasn't....y did i get liek that hto...that stuff usually doesn't get to me..w/e i watched ppls roll up yesterday and kept my mouth shut..no more lecturing it doesn't work ne way!
i love her
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[26 Aug 2005|11:04am] |
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mood |
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last nite i was on the fone with ang...and it was an awesome conversation, but does ne one but me think in the long run? not to do sumin becuz of wut it does or causes in the furture...but if it makes u happy then its ok? i don't get my way of thinking..its retaarded and messed up, and how can i help people if i feel so0o lost myself sometimes, i swear i know more about everyone else then i do myself, mayb i should study myself sometime...look at things i do and how i do them, which parts make me happy and sad angry or content, i have to stop walkin away, "if u walk away it mkaes the problem go away" which is neccesrily tru, cuz thats all i keep doin and my mom freak out...i just want to ask wut is so0o rong, i want to tell her how much i love ang, and how i want to b with her the rest of my life, how she put a smile on my face thats so0o real, and how i care about her more then anything cuz she's my everything....but i guess coward would b the word coward >noun a person contemptibly lacking in courage. i miss ang...i'll see her lata on tonight tho i hope
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[25 Aug 2005|01:34am] |
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wow...i'm a dumbass, and somehow she made it better, but aren't i suppose to do that? but ne way...if i do get sent away, i'm changing, my style ne way, i look kinda boring..and i NEED my ballybutton done even tho she won't let me! wut eva i'm getin done....i love her with all my heart...and i'll neva let her go
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[24 Aug 2005|06:08pm] |
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its funny wen something go's rong i WANT/NEED to talk to her, but close up so0o fast that i don't have the chance to. i want to cry on her shoulder and have her hold me till everything is ok, or atleast feels like it is, but it usually don't happen that way cuz i have a funny way of dealing with stuff, i ten to smile wen theres sumin rong, and cry wen there isn't...raise my voice wen i'm happy, and talk normal wen i'm mad....i wish i had a more normal way of dealing with thing, and i wish i was accepted....but the one person who i really want to, won't EVER..and its true i do need my mom, but she's just not gonna b here for me and theres nothing i can do about it, she sed our so0o called good relationship was a joke, and i'm nothing but a liar, which isn't tru....but w/e let her send me away let her make me cry let her get to me..all i can do is sit back and deal
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[23 Aug 2005|10:28pm] |
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i love ang
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[22 Aug 2005|10:19pm] |
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i just got back from newyork...and So0o happy to b home..my mom seems to b in a good mood and besides some of the snide remarks she sed ova the week, its been ok, she did threaten to send me to the mountains till summer ends but that died i guess...we mite move to this HUGE house...i could have tons of parties there! if we do i'm having a halloween party...sat. was mine and angs three months, but i wasn't home :( that kinda made me grr....i'll write more about newyork lata
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[09 Aug 2005|12:03pm] |
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ok so0o this is my new lj, hopefully it dont' screw up likethe last one....i'm tired cuz last nite me kait and kelly stayed up till like 4 talk about stuff...i'm mad becuz everyone has a better relationship with my mom then i do, even madder about it cuz i neva did ne thing rong, dissapointed becuz friends are def not how they seem, happy becuz of ang.
i still need to take my taco bell application back, to atleast try to get a job hopefully they don't go and tell me i need working papers cuz then i'll b screwed, i think i'm goin to the mall tonight with ang to meet another person who wants my girlfriend...o well no one can have her
u no with my mom i neva did ne thing rong, she asked me one thing, "not to tell ne one" but all the people tht knew, knew befor her...she says i'm gonna b the new talk, then i don't care if people have nothing betta to do then make me center of atention then ok they have no lifes...she say i pushed her away, but i haven't she's just pushing herself away...i hate it how she just think she's rite and everyone else is ALWAYS rong, she needs to get a clue befor reality hits her...
yea i guess i'm gonna rant and crap in here now, cuzi feel bad telling people cuz everyone has enough of their own problems they really don't need to b hearing or dealing with mine either ya no?
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